- He absolutely loved his bath earlier this week. I'm not sure what made it better than the first one, but he is due for another one today, so we'll see how it goes.
- Nicholas is becoming so expressive. During his alert time he now mixes in a variety of facial expressions, some of which are smiles or downright grins. Since they don't seem to be in response to anything, they are probably unconscious and not real smiles, but they are a fun glance at what the older baby will look like. And they are just absolutely adorable and heartwarming.
- Whenever we are out people comment at how tiny he is and yet to us he looks huge. He has definitely grown a lot recently, although we have no idea just how much. We go to the pediatrician in a little over a week, so we'll learn that info then.
- Nicholas is now old enough that we've been able to start introducing pumped bottles as an everyday occurrence, rather than just for emergencies. This gives me at least some degree of freedom, which is nice. Although, honestly, the taste of freedom makes it that much harder to go through each day having to choose whether I want to use my couple hours to go out somewhere without him or to get to go to bed early. I am hopeful that he will start spacing out feedings a little more soon so it doesn't have to be such an all-or-nothing proposition.
- The poor kid has developed baby acne. Apparently 40% of newborns get it at 2-3 weeks old and it sticks around for a few months. It appeared on Tuesday and has already gotten a little better now that we're washing his face a few times a day to combat it. Apparently there is nothing we can do to make it entirely vanish; we just have to give his body time to get rid of some of the hormones from being in utero.
- In a classic case of the double-edged sword, Nicholas has simultaneously started being able to fall asleep in ways other than nursing and has stopped reliably falling asleep by nursing. It makes me really happy that he is able to put himself to sleep with a pacifier or sucking on his hand or even just by rocking in the swing, but whereas I used to be able to count on just putting him down after nursing him, now there is sometimes a long process of holding him, rocking him, giving him a pacifier, etc before he falls asleep. On Tuesday while Matt was visiting he fell asleep in the midst of tummy time, sucking on his hand when he got frustrated and then falling asleep, staying asleep in half-crawl position long enough for us to play two full games of the train game. Right now he is asleep in the swing. I don't really like him sleeping in it because he is all stiff when he wakes up, but he was awake when I put him in and then fell asleep and since he has been up for the past 5 hours, I'm not about to move him and risk waking him up.
- After a week and a half of feeling almost normal, my nausea came back again yesterday. It was pretty bad yesterday and I had a medium bout again this morning. I can't think of a single thing that I did differently that could have triggered its return, and so am frustrated in addition to feeling bad physically. I'm hoping it goes away again on its own soon, since the earliest appointment I was able to get with a specialist isn't for over 3 weeks.
- Pacifiers are like magic. We have started letting ourselves use them some now that breastfeeding is well established and I am always amazed at how immediately he goes from inconsolable to content. We are trying really hard to use them sparingly and for short periods (such as to calm him down enough so that he is able to let the swing or the movement from the car or going on a walk keep him calm), but I still worry that we are fostering a bad habit. It is just so tempting to use them more often, though, since it works such magic.
- Stacy was here for most of the week, which was so amazing, but is going to make the next week that much harder. There are very few people that can lighten my load the way she does, both by being immensely helpful with Nicholas and around the house and by being someone who I feel completey comfortable breaking down in front of. I'm always sad when she leaves at the end of a visit, but saying goodbye this morning was particularly difficult.
- In a note that is only loosely related to Nicholas, other things in our lives are falling into place so perfectly that I have to pinch myself that I'm not dreaming. The Civic is still at the mechanic's, but both he and the insurance company are now almost certain that we will get it back and in working order. I wouldn't be surprised if the experience shortens its life a little or leads to a few more issues in later years, but having two reliable and freeway-worthy cars is a dream come true and simplifies our lives dramatically. The other news is that in a crazy twist of fate I have been asked to teach a class at Hopkins next year, providing me tuition and funding for the spring semester! The number of boulder-sized loads this takes off our shoulders is almost too numerous to list. The biggest effects are that I now have until summer to finish my dissertation (instead of Thanksgiving) and that we will no longer have to be living off our savings for those months. Both of these scenarios are absolutely tailor-made perfection, 100 times better than the best-case scenario I had been able to dream up, and I am trying really hard to use them to remind myself to trust God even when I'm frustrated at feeling nauseous again or that Nicholas is screaming for no apparent reason. I fail at least half the time, but maybe putting it in writing and in public will help me hold myself more accountable.
There is apparently a lot more going on here than I realized when I started this post. But since Nicholas is still asleep, I'm going to go find useful things to do. Do I have the courage and energy to make one of those things school related?
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