Peanut's Particulars

At the baby shower last month, Allison started an official pool for Peanut. We thought we'd extend the chance to guess Peanut's sex, birth date, weight, and name to everyone who reads the blog. So, if you click on the link below, it will take you to our survey to fill out.

Click here to enter your guesses.

Please submit your entry by Friday, May 8, and we'll post the winner once Peanut gets here.

Dreams

I had an amusing Peanut dream last night. Well, amusing to me—if you are easily grossed out, you may want to skip this post.

So, in real life you can often see a Peanut foot or butt pushing against the edge of my belly. Well in my dream I could see one of Peanut’s fingers protruding. But whereas in reality these body parts look like odd bumps in the otherwise basketball-shaped belly, in my dream it was clearly a finger. And so I reached down to touch it and realized it wasn’t Peanut’s finger pushing my skin up, but Peanut’s actual finger. And then it was Peanut’s whole hand (although the size of a 3-year-old, not a newborn) and I looked down and near the wrist there was an opening in my skin! Peanut had pushed so hard its hand had come clear out of me. (Although the opening was a nice clean incision, probably a vision left in my mind from the C-section video in one of our classes.)

We often joke when Peanut is pushing really hard against the edges of its home that it thinks it can get out that way. Apparently subconsciously I think it might actually try.

Odds and Ends

A few notes as we anxiously await the turn of the calendar to May ...

• It is absolutely hilarious to hear people who want nothing to do with kids use the pregnancy lingo flawlessly. Two of our friends in the last week have nonchalantly asked whether the baby has dropped yet, a term they learned from another pregnant friend.
• Your attempts to find out the gender are pretty obvious and ham-fisted. You're not nearly as witty as you think. You know who you are.
• We learned at childcare class that you should never tie a pacifier around a baby's neck. Good tip. Guess I should put away the twine.
• As anxious as we are, looking back to last fall, we're definitely getting close. And we're now up to weekly doctor's appointments! We're slowly but surely closing in on the end of the beginning.

Guess that's it for now. We have another childcare class on Thursday, and given how comical the first one was, the second should be good for a post on Friday.

They Grow Up So Fast

The doctor estimated today that Peanut currently weighs around 6 pounds. (They can only ballpark unless they do a sonogram, but that is good enough for us.) 6lbs seems so big! It wasn't long ago that we were comparing Peanut's size to small pieces of fruit--is there even a 6lb fruit?

Back to the Grind

Stacy has left and we are back to the daily grind. In January I set what I thought were overly-ambitious goals for the semester and had promised myself that if I somehow managed to meet them, I could then focus on drooling over baby clothes and relaxing until Peanut’s arrival. And when I volunteered to present at the last workshop meeting of the semester (and therefore gave myself a deadline of last week for the final component of my goals), Stacy’s visit was supposed to be the beginning of my break. Well, the best laid plans . . . and so her visit was instead only a brief respite. It now looks like even a February defense isn’t an option (stupid Hopkins bizarre rules), and so I’ve lost another two months and will have to defend in December, which means finishing my dissertation by Thanksgiving. And so, despite the fact that I already drafted three chapters and revised an article this semester, I started drafting another chapter tonight. Gah!!!!!!! (This is where Joe would say, “Tell us how you really feel.”)

Okay, I am now officially done complaining, and will focus on happier things instead.

While Stacy was here we added a few more touches to the nursery. We put up the Noah’s Ark picture we bought at the flea market. And we hung a hammock on the wall above the dresser/changing table for all of the stuffed animals I wasn’t sure what to do with. I had contemplated putting up a shelf for them, but decided that with a hammock Peanut would have something to look at during diaper changes. I’m not sure how interesting animal butts will be, but they have to be more interesting than the underside of a shelf.

We also went out shopping for a bunch of the practical things that we should just have stocked—like diaper cream, baby Tylenol, etc.—and ran a bunch of other uber-practical errands that I had been putting off either because of work or because I just didn’t want to deal with them. And, in things completely unrelated to Peanut, we spent a lot of time talking, playing games, watching Full House, and having root beer floats. It was phenomenal!

As Promised . . .

A Taste of Summer

As is fitting for a day with a high in the 80s, we spent the morning at a yard sale and the evening at a baseball game. It was great!

Some friends of ours were in charge of organizing the flea market and classic car show at church this weekend, so we had promised them we would stop by. And of course we came home with a few bags of stuff. I had forgotten how much I love yard sales! Given my general love of bargains and my inability to pass up baby stuff, I was actually quite restrained. We got a few toys (a toy mailbox in honor of Joe’s work on the post office and an old-school ring stacker and phone like we had growing up), a dozen or so books, and a Noah’s Ark framed picture to add to the nursery. AND my favorite purchase, a Radio Flyer rocking horse! At a whopping $6 it cost as much as all the toys and books combined, but it is in almost-perfect condition and had to be one of the cutest things I’ve seen. And, really, $6??? I promise to post a picture tomorrow (I would go take one now, but Joe and Stacy are both sleeping, so the flash is a bad idea).

The Orioles game was a lot of fun, especially after they stopped giving away solo homeruns like it was the day’s free gift. Peanut got a little agitated during the bottom of the ninth when the crowd was going wild as the Orioles mounted a comeback, but calmed down pretty quickly once the noise died down. Somehow I don’t think we’re going to have a baby who sleeps through much. The only downside--there were so many people there that I didn't get the purple Os hat they were giving away. :(

Insurance

We sort-of accidentally applied for state health insurance earlier this week and are both feeling uneasy about it. How does one accidentally apply for insurance? Well, the hospital pre-bills based on estimates for a normal delivery, but before we sent in the check we called the aid office listed on the bill. A friend in Ohio had told us to check because the hospitals they have had their kids at had discounts on the post-insurance costs that are tied to income. And since they qualified for a discount and make significantly more than we do, she figured we could save a chunk of money.

So we called, figuring if there was an automatic discount, that would be great. We can pay the bill, but a few hundred extra dollars in our bank account would certainly make us happy. Well, MD apparently doesn’t have those automatic discount things, but the guy Joe talked to on the phone said that based on our income we should definitely come in because we probably qualify for assistance. So we went in and filled out a whole form, thinking that this was for the state to pick up a piece of the hospital costs for the delivery. We weren’t quite sure what we thought about this, but figured we could use the money and really that it was better to have the paperwork in because any complications would send the bill soaring and then it would really matter.

And then, as we’re getting ready to leave, the guy says something along the lines of, “okay, if you’re approved you’ll get a packet in the mail and have to pick one of the insurance providers.” Wait, what? Apparently this isn’t a one-time aid thing, but applying for state insurance as a secondary medical insurance policy. Now this makes us really uneasy. We don’t need this, right? But, on the other hand, all insurance policies cover different things and one that is actually designed for kids would probably cover immunizations and such better than ours will, so having both could be really nice. And some of these plans include vision or dental. And could we maybe then avoid adding Peanut to our school insurance altogether? That would save us thousands of dollars, and thousands more if we can’t convince the insurance company to pro-rate the cost of adding a dependent and so we have to pay for an entire year’s insurance for Peanut’s first two months. But shouldn't these programs be saved for people who really need them? Or, if having all our information (including knowledge that we have other insurance options) the state decides we fall into that group, should we accept that? These are some of the thoughts we started pondering and so didn’t have the guy immediately rip up our form. But we’re both left with an uneasy feeling about the whole thing, and seriously contemplating turning it down if we’re approved. We have some research to do.

Why doesn’t Graco make an infant bather?

We pulled out the infant bather last night, which, like half of the baby gear we selected, we chose largely based on its ability to fold up flat to be squeezed into little nooks and crannies in our apartment. However, the design is so horribly flawed that it is almost impossible to re-fold one of the pieces in without just pushing with brute force against a little piece of plastic that threatens to snap.

This is frustrating enough, but what is really driving me crazy is that reading online reviews, other people don’t seem to be having this problem. It got better reviews than any other bather and while a few people (out of close to 100) mentioned it being difficult to fold (without noting the specific problem we were having), dozens more discussed how they loved how easy it was to fold and store or take on vacation. And so as Stacy, Joe, and I sat fighting with it, unable to figure it out, I just felt stupid. What are we missing? And, seriously, how many degrees does it take to fold a mesh seat?

Playtime or torture?

Sometimes I wonder if what we call “playtime” is actually a form of torture for Peanut. Is Peanut enjoying the interaction or moving a lot trying futilely to escape the invasion of its nice calm world from the crazy people outside?

But, then again, Peanut reacts to Joe’s voice in particular. While moving in response to us touching its feet when it pushes them out could be it trying to escape, if Peanut’s movements in response to talking were just trying to escape noise, it wouldn’t move so much more at Joe’s voice than any other sound, right?

It really is pretty amazing the bond those two have. Peanut has random active spells during the day and sometimes gets a little more active when I start pounding bottle caps or skittles, but it is nothing like the active bursts when Peanut can hear Joe’s voice clearly. About 90% of the time Joe can get a reaction from the baby, and if he is talking to it while I’m lying down and there aren’t other things going on, that goes up to closer to 98%. I occasionally get a twinge of jealousy, but mostly I just revel in the joy I get observing them.

Where’d we go?

It has been awhile since we have posted and there have been some posts floating around in my head half written, but there have been some actual big things going on in our lives that I’ve been struggling over whether or how to post about, and somehow it didn’t seem right to put up random notes on infant bathers and ignore the big issues. (That, and we have been BUSY.) But it is just so much easier to write about the trivial things. And do significant but technically non-Peanut related things in our lives really belong here? I just don’t know. But here it is, 4:30am and I’m awake and without real work that seems urgent (how I generally kill the wee hours if I can’t sleep), so here it goes.

The biggest of the big things, and one that came at us from left field, was the death of one of my cousins in an accident last week, at the age of 25. I was frustrated not to be able to go to the funeral, but the doctor left no wiggle room when we asked permission, and so we sat at home while my parents drove up. I really wanted to be there for his parents and sister, not that I could really do anything, but just to be there, you know. But, at the same time, not going has made this whole thing much easier. Too easy, really, because basically it doesn’t seem real at all. I had been really looking forward to this Christmas in Louisville and trying to get a lot of the family together, as we do every 10 years when my grandparents hit another milestone anniversary, but suddenly I am starting to dread it. In the past year there have been too many holes in the family. This thought, and a whole host of others—some linked to myself and my siblings, others tied to wishing there was a protective bubble to put around Peanut—occasionally swirl through my head, but without being forced to confront them, I push them back down and go back to work, as healthy as that usually is.

It seems completely absurd to transition from something so real and actually important to the things that seemed so big and important before we got the news about Collin, as though they are even in the same universe, but transition I will because otherwise this post can’t exist. Mid April is when each year we basically find out what the following academic year is going to look like. Not in terms of classes, but things like where we will be living and how much money we’ll make. You know, nothing important, particularly with a baby coming in a month. Joe won a very prestigious fellowship, but they are short on funds and so it was a toned-down version and so would have required us to move to Philadelphia for 4 months for no more money than he would get if we stayed here. It was hard for him to turn it down, but the logistics of making that work just seemed to require too much sacrifice for the pay off. And me? Well, I basically struck out. And so as of now I have no source of income after mid January. And as the kicker, if I don’t defend by February we also have to pay spring tuition for me, so guess who suddenly is planning to defend her dissertation in early February? Because there isn’t enough going on in the next nine months, right? Basically, next year is going to be messier than we had hoped, but we’ll be fine. What we really need now is the economy to pick up so that there are actually jobs to apply for with these degrees we will be frantically completing.

So, those are the big things going on in our world. In addition, I just turned in another chapter and Joe is working to finish one in the next couple weeks. Stacy is now here visiting and I had hoped for a few days of escape, but so far haven’t been able to get my brain to let me unwind.

Now, on to the superficial posts.

To everything there is a season ...

Sarah and I independently realized last Sunday that Easter was our last major holiday without children. It’s one of the funny things as we circle ever closer to the due date and Peanut’s arrival, to realize just how many things about our lives, big and small, will never be the same. And as the due date creeps ever closer, there are more and more things where one or both of us says, “This is the last time we’ll ever …” It’s not a long list, and it’s certainly not something we lament. In fact, usually we find it exciting—we’re both totally stoked to have a baby and then small child to enjoy the magic of Christmas with, just to give one example. So the feeling just strikes us ever now and again.

Ironically, it reminds me of just before the wedding. That day, while getting ready with the groomsmen, the best man decided to describe everything I was doing, play-by-play style, as the last time I would do something as a bachelor. Wake up, take a shower, eat lunch, drive my car … it was funny at first, hilarious on occasion, but mostly bothersome by the end of the litany of things I was doing as a bachelor for the last time.

The feeling also reminds me how far we’ve come in the pregnancy. When we first found out, we snooped around a variety of parenting and pregnancy websites to read up on things. Many of them come with week-by-week guides to the pregnancy. When we first started reading, we were on the far left, in the single digits, measuring Peanut in size by random small nuts and berries. The third trimester, and the last month, seemed eons away. And now here we are, in week 36, and the early pregnancy is what seems distant to us.

And of course, in just a few weeks, being childless will also be just a memory. And we can’t wait.

Coming 'Round the Final Turn

The due date is now just five weeks from today. O, the anticipation!

Flexibility

I’m beginning to think that a flexible work schedule is the key to pregnancy. I couldn’t sleep last night, but rather than lying in bed watching the clock count down until the alarm went off, I was able to just get up and work for 3 hours, then sleep in until 9am and I can take a nap later today if I need to.

And, I have to say, that middle of the night work session may have been the most productive three hours I have had in months. I remember now why I did my best work in college between 1 and 5am. So, watch out, Mr. Chapter, I’m coming to get you.

From the “Bad Mommy File”

Me: “Peanut, will you just stop growing already!”
Wait, I didn’t mean it, I promise. But, seriously, kiddo, some of my maternity clothes don’t even fit right anymore--what exactly are you doing in there?

Silly Daddy

Joe is in a silly mood today, but it is quite entertaining. A couple random snippets:

Joe: "Hugs are like marijuana for babies."

Joe, while we were standing in the nursery: "Aren't you excited, Peanut? This is your first room! Well, I guess this (patting my belly) is your first room, but this is your first room with upholstery."

Who's excited?!?!

It's just six weeks to the due date! Peanut kicks up a storm all the time, or squirms at least, Sarah says, since it's now too big to really wind up like it's lining up for a field goal. The nursery is just about all set. It's getting so close—and with that comes an increase in both terror and excitement. And, because it's us, a nervous anxiety to get started on the work of parenting.

But right now it's just excitement. Go Peanut!

In other news, Peanut was very excited to learn that its godmother Stacy successfully defended her dissertation. Congrats!

On the Road with Peanut

I was thinking today that Peanut's been to quite a few places while still in utero, and because it's me, and I like maps, and I like to procrastinate, I used a website that allows you to show the states you've visited. So I did a map for Peanut, and it looks like this:


Create your own personalized map of the USA

Pretty impressive, huh? Peanut's already done almost the entire East Coast, and made a random trip to Las Vegas. We've been circling West Virginia, though, which may not get fixed until Peanut's first drive to Louisville.

Nursery—Phase 3

The nursery is now complete!!! Well, there are a couple pieces missing (like a diaper pail and hamper), but they won’t make a big difference in the appearance of the room. The dresser drawers are loaded (although the clothes need to be de-tagged and washed) and really all we need now is the baby.


Grandma Kathleen made the quilt above Peanut's crib. All of her pieces are wonderful, but I think this is my favorite yet. You can see a close-up in the MD Baby Shower folder in The Peanut Gallery--the details on the animals is amazing. We bought stain to make the holders match the crib, but haven't had a chance to actually stain them.

This picture makes the space looked cramped, but it doesn't feel that small. And it is the only way to get all the elements of the nursery in one photo. The crib and dresser also match much better than it appears here--the flash just bounces off the crib more because it was closer.

The dresser/changing station.

We are very excited! Although having everything ready makes it even harder to wait for Peanut.

Maryland Shower

Yesterday Allison and Jaimie (two of my high school friends) threw us a shower, which was tons of fun. I really enjoy when my worlds merge, and so having high school friends, grad school friends, and family all together was great. (I’m actually already pondering when the next time is when worlds will merge like this. Peanut’s first birthday???) We played hilarious games, which I won’t attempt to describe here, but are described in the captions for the pictures that we have uploaded into a folder in the Peanut Gallery (link in the sidebar). But I promise you’ll want to check them out. And the video. :)

Peanut's new friends

Peanut made two new friends tonight. We were waiting in line at a store when the two little girls in front of us (around 4 and 6) spontaneously started talking to Peanut, saying "hi, baby" and waving at my belly. It was absolutely adorable. And they obviously have some recent experience with pregnancy because the older one then asked me when the baby "was due to come out." So endearing.

Random snippets from our conversation this morning

As our conversation shifted from the degree of pain I am in this morning (stupid loosening of the pelvic bone) to something we learned in class on Tuesday about the brilliant design of the uterus, I repeated a comment I’ve made before, but this time Joe had a brilliant follow up:

Sarah: “I fluctuate between amazement at what our bodies are able to do and how intricately they are designed for this process and wondering if our bodies were made to do this why the f*** they can’t do it without causing less pain.”
Joe: “Because God is a man.”

A little later in the morning:

Joe: “You’re such a trouper. You’re doing such a good job. I’m going to recommend you to everyone.”

Disclaimer

I am very glad that at least one person completely fell for my little April Fool's joke. But I hope many more enjoyed it. And I hope that at least one person realized that the post title was an acronym.

Anyway, one Peanut is plenty for us to handle at a time.

All Persons Really Inquiring Look Fairly On Our Latest Statement

Over the past several months, many people have inquired about Peanut’s gender. Most were simply trying to make small talk; a few were more pushy. Through it all, we’ve kept our silence, even as various friends have tried to dissect every potential mis-statement (or not), blog or photo posting, or Facebook status. It can get pretty wearing, to be honest. Day after day, week after week, to hear that knowing “a-ha!” when we use a gendered pronoun (always referring to someone else in the conversation), to see people glancing at Sarah’s belly to judge just how a boy or a girl should be carrying.

Well I, for one, have had enough. I’m ruining the surprise.

Those of you who think Peanut is a boy: you are correct.

Those of you who think Peanut is a girl: well, I’m sorry, but … oh, heck, you’re correct too!

That’s right.

Twins.

You know how when you open a peanut shell there are two inside? Same deal here.

In just a few short weeks we’ll be welcoming one of each, our own little Barack and Michelle, into our home. And to be honest, I feel better now that we’re announcing it to the world. If we’d managed to hold in that little secret all the way through April, we sure would have felt silly. Some might even say foolish.