We mentioned briefly awhile back that Nicholas has been going through a difficult phase. I haven't posted any more details because frankly lots of nights by the time he went to bed I just needed to curl up in bed with ice cream or a glass of wine and watch crappy tv. But this week has been much better and today was actually a great day, so I have the energy and patience to write a bit.
The best way I can describe this phase is that Nicholas' body has been invaded by a teenage girl. It has been like Freaky Friday in our house. He went from a child who never threw tantrums and rarely yelled to one whose tantrums were extreme, who yelled ALL. THE. TIME. He had the attitude of a teenager, complete with backtalk. And the slightest random things would set him off and lead to world-class meltdowns. He was just unable to deal with the world.
Some days were better and some were worse, but few passed without at least some outbursts. And it got to the point that I felt like I was walking on eggshells, constantly trying to spot things that might set him off before he could explode.
He simultaneously got more clingy and that has been getting steadily and steadily more extreme, actually getting even more noticeable this week as the mood swings have been better. Not just holding on when dropped off at school or wanting an extra hug at bedtime. We're talking about not being able to eat dinner unless he is holding my hand kind of extreme. And he is suddenly so afraid of the dark he needs a real light on in his room instead of the nightlight and won't even go into his room himself to turn on the light. And he has to have his door open to go to sleep, which he has never done. And these things seem to be really truly necessary for him all of the sudden.
Clearly there is something (or multiple somethings) bothering this kid. He is still the same kid underneath and the Nicholas we know comes out (and his teachers haven't seen anything odd at school), but he gets swamped by these waves multiple times a day where he seems taken over by something else. We have noticed a huge jump in his imagination when he plays (making up complex stories for the dolls in his dollhouse, singing his own songs) and he has started to talk about bad dreams, so our best theory is that his mind has all sorts of new things going on but he doesn't yet know how to filter through everything that is going on and it overwhelms him. And he doesn't even have his thumb to turn to anymore to help him through it.
For now we are trying to offer lots of extra cuddle time and have let him have the accommodations he has requested to sleep. And, as I said at the beginning, this week has been significantly better, so maybe just maybe he is starting to come out of it. (Cross your fingers. Knock on wood.)
And today was such a great day. When we got home from swim lessons I was just bursting with pride and couldn't wait for him to tell Joe all about his afternoon.
I don't know much about his day at school other than that he did a face-first slide across the playground that led to a scraped up nose, but he was the least clingy he has been at drop-off in weeks and was in a great mood when I picked him up, chatting animatedly the whole way home. We got him changed and walked over to swim lessons and he patiently watched the last half of the class before his. (I actually think he learned more watching the advanced class than he does in his own lesson--he watched so intently and when we got home he was showing Joe the backstroke he saw them learning and his form was better than the 8-year-olds.) Swim lessons have been hit or miss, with him doing well some days and refusing to pay any attention the other days (the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde thing I mentioned), but today he was on.
In fact, not only did he do everything the teacher asked, but he was really good to the new little girl who was absolutely terrified of the water. I'm actually wondering if part of why he was so good is that he tends to step up when there is someone else who needs him. So when Leila was here one afternoon he immediately snapped into big helper mode. And today he showed the little girl how it wasn't scary to put your face in the water and blow bubbles (even though he is usually hesitant). Mostly I was impressed with how patient he was since the teacher quite literally had his arms full with a screaming child and Nicholas spent a lot of time hanging out on the dock waiting.
And then he was angelic in the shower (which has sometimes been a nightmare given his personality switch) and as the icing on top he asked to go to the bathroom and did! I was so proud of him for this whole litany of things and the contrast with recent weeks was so great that he got rewarded with an ice cream cone tonight. Heck, if I can have this Nicholas, I'll give him ice cream every night.
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