Layers of Complication

Being away for long stretches of time means that things at home that ordinarily I wouldn't notice changing on a day-by-day basis all of a sudden pop when it's been a week or two. Perhaps the best case of this is Nicholas's bedtime routine, which is intricate enough to make your average government functionary right at home.

It started so simply.  Even at just a few months old, we'd read a few books before bed. When he was an infant, it was mostly to set the routine of bedtime reading, and to make it clear that this was the signal for "it's bedtime now, time to wind down." Good enough. I don't remember exactly when I started adding a song, but I would do it occasionally. (When he was a newborn, I spent many an hour in the middle of the night pacing the apartment singing every Billy Joel, Beatles, and Glee Club song I could remember to try to get him back to sleep.) At some point singing became an official part of the routine, usually some kid's song -- the ABC's, or Baa-Baa Black Sheep, or some other lullaby. When he was about one or so, we started to add a little prayer.

All well and good, right?

Well it's grown some. By the end of this past summer, the bedtime routine included teeth-brushing (and Nicholas always gets a turn and always insisted on rinsing off the brush afterwards), at least two books (he picks), the prayer, THREE songs--always the same ones, always the same order. Ask Nicholas and he'll tell you:

"Take Me Out to the Ball-Game Baa-Baa Black Sheep ABCD's!!"

That brings me to this past weekend. In addition to everything else, it's now apparently a requirement to include "keep us safe" as the last part of his prayer. Fine.  Plus I had to stand at his crib-side and rub his back while singing his songs. Okay, whatever. Then I had to give him a kiss while still at the crib. Oh, and his Elmo doll too. Then he demanded I blow him a kiss from the door. Then he demanded I blow him a kiss from outside the door. You are not allowed to skip steps.

Sarah hypothesized, and I'm in general agreement, that part of the problem is that she always does bedtime, and so whatever gimmicks and tricks she throws in on occasion are now all he ever gets, so they're not variations between the two of us but rather part of a strict routine.

It's good that he likes order (probably). It's fabulous that he has a good memory to keep track of all of these rituals. But boy is it tough to keep up with them when you've been away for a week.  Sometimes I need a handbook.