School Update

I know it isn't fair to write a post about Nicholas having a rough time at school and then not update for a long time. But I wanted to see how the whole week went before jinxing it.

So here is the update: he is doing better, although still has some trouble with dropoffs. But each day this week it got a little better, and he actually asks to go to the gym now.

One of the things I've been trying is to write a new script for dropoffs. Nicholas actually gave me the idea yesterday. When we turned onto the road 2 turns before his school he called out, per usual, "yay school!" (This is the turn that takes us out of the woods and into civilization, so even though it is two turns away, it seems like it is almost there.) Anyway, he then started talking about how his friends would be in the gym and when we got to school we'd go to his classroom to put his lunch away and then we'd go to the gym. And then he said, "And then I cry and go 'Mommy. Mommy. Mommy.'"

And lightbulb. He was totally aware of what he was doing and it had become part of his routine. So I suggested that instead of crying maybe he could try saying "Bye, Mommy, see you later." He was excited about this. And I asked him what I should say, letting him write my part of the script. He suggested "Mommy always comes back." So we practiced our exchange a couple times. When we got to his school we dropped his lunch off and as we were walking to the gym he practiced his line again. But as soon as we got to the gym he forgot and went right back to crying and whining for me. But he obviously wanted to go play, just didn't want me to leave, so he was still doing better than last week.

We tried again this morning and while he didn't say his line, I kept reciting it, and he did better, calling for me, but going to his teacher with no tears.

And then when I went to pick him up the first thing he said to me was, "Bye Mommy, see you later," which he exclaimed proudly as though he'd been waiting hours to show me. Had he been thinking all day about proving to me he could do it?

He then obliged when I had him tell Joe what he says when I drop him off, and when I asked him what Mommy says, he said, "I love you, Nicholas. See you later. Mommy always comes back." Heart melting.

We'll see what Monday brings.

So, anyway, he is doing better, and liking school during the day at least, even if he doesn't want me to go in the morning. He has developed relationships with many of his classmates, which is great to see when I go to pick him up and watch him playing with the other kids, creating games. And he comes home with new songs that he tells us he "learned at school."

Then again, the guilt isn't completely gone since tonight he told me "Mommy work when I cry." Based on the rest of the conversation we had when I asked him about it, it was pretty clear that what he was talking about was that I am at work when he is crying for me at school. His teachers at this school apparently tell them that their parents can't come because they are working when a kid is upset or calling for a parent. Nicholas never had that association before--school was just where he went, there was no relationship with me going to work.

I mean, I know he was going to figure it out eventually, but I am not happy. It is one of a number of things I am not thrilled about with this school, but that aren't actually bad enough to take him out, especially since we just made him adjust and since we're hoping to get him into the preschool on campus this winter or spring, which means yet another transition. I miss his school in Maryland. Ms. Jamie and Ms. Hilary never would have told him such a thing. They would have cuddled and snuggled him and made it all better. But, then again, he didn't cry for me there to begin with.