If the Census Bureau had access to the same tools that marketers and advertisers did, we'd know everything we need to know about the American population without having to send out a mass mailing every ten years (other than the Constitutional requirement, of course). Because some of the contacts we receive from vendors are rather creepy.
Yesterday, for example, we received a catalog from a children's party planning business. But the catalog we got wasn't about all kids' birthday parties. No, no. All of the items were for parties for a one-year-old. And, as chance would have it, we're about eight weeks from having one of those. Whether we have a party is yet to be determined, but anyone who knows us should be well aware that it will not include chintzy, overpriced party goods bought from a mail-order catalog.
Anyway, the point is that we get mailings like this once a week, and it's kind of scary. I mean, Babies 'R Us has our information because we buy stuff there, so we get coupons (which work—we go back for more stuff! Gah!). And at least one of the maternity stores got us on their crapola mailing list, which we know because they misspelled Mommy's name (they left off the "h"). But we just get bombarded with these materials by mail and e-mail. We don't spend money (and don't like creepy invasions of our vital statistics), so we just chuck things. But I understand a little more each day how people get sucked in. Every mailing has coupons, or free samples, or something attached to it. Before you realize it, you're signed up for four parenting magazines that give contradictory advice, you're buying the baby three times as much formula as it needs because there are sales on different brands, and you've got first birthday party favors for your three-month-old. Jane, stop this crazy thing!
And now I'm going to take a deep breath and enjoy every moment until Nicholas learns how to say, "I want!"
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