Being away for long stretches of time means that things at home that ordinarily I wouldn't notice changing on a day-by-day basis all of a sudden pop when it's been a week or two. Perhaps the best case of this is Nicholas's bedtime routine, which is intricate enough to make your average government functionary right at home.
It started so simply. Even at just a few months old, we'd read a few books before bed. When he was an infant, it was mostly to set the routine of bedtime reading, and to make it clear that this was the signal for "it's bedtime now, time to wind down." Good enough. I don't remember exactly when I started adding a song, but I would do it occasionally. (When he was a newborn, I spent many an hour in the middle of the night pacing the apartment singing every Billy Joel, Beatles, and Glee Club song I could remember to try to get him back to sleep.) At some point singing became an official part of the routine, usually some kid's song -- the ABC's, or Baa-Baa Black Sheep, or some other lullaby. When he was about one or so, we started to add a little prayer.
All well and good, right?
Well it's grown some. By the end of this past summer, the bedtime routine included teeth-brushing (and Nicholas always gets a turn and always insisted on rinsing off the brush afterwards), at least two books (he picks), the prayer, THREE songs--always the same ones, always the same order. Ask Nicholas and he'll tell you:
"Take Me Out to the Ball-Game Baa-Baa Black Sheep ABCD's!!"
That brings me to this past weekend. In addition to everything else, it's now apparently a requirement to include "keep us safe" as the last part of his prayer. Fine. Plus I had to stand at his crib-side and rub his back while singing his songs. Okay, whatever. Then I had to give him a kiss while still at the crib. Oh, and his Elmo doll too. Then he demanded I blow him a kiss from the door. Then he demanded I blow him a kiss from outside the door. You are not allowed to skip steps.
Sarah hypothesized, and I'm in general agreement, that part of the problem is that she always does bedtime, and so whatever gimmicks and tricks she throws in on occasion are now all he ever gets, so they're not variations between the two of us but rather part of a strict routine.
It's good that he likes order (probably). It's fabulous that he has a good memory to keep track of all of these rituals. But boy is it tough to keep up with them when you've been away for a week. Sometimes I need a handbook.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Scenes from a Weekend
Sixty hours at home can do wonders for the soul, and apparently for toddlers who miss their fathers. We had a busy, productive, and slightly insane weekend. In other words, par for the course. Here, then, are a few highlights:
"Running Errands"
Nicholas now understands the concept, if not the particulars. On Saturday morning, just after my arrival, Nicholas and I went on some errands that had piled up during the week—the bank and the post office specifically, with a trip to the library thrown in to allow him to play for a few. It's actually more fun for him that you think. He was good at the post office, and the postal worker gave him a free coloring book while we were waiting [ed.: a POST OFFICE COLORING BOOK! Can you tell Daddy was more excited than Nicholas?], and he loves the bank because he always gets a lollipop. In fact, the first thing he did in the bank was walk over to the desk where he first got one and said loudly, "Where's the woman?" She's not in on Saturday, but the tellers were happy to oblige a smile and carefully word "Please may I have a lollipop?" And he loves the library, which I think we've discussed a number of times.
Anyway, part of the point of this whole anecdote is that we also ran errands this morning, to look for eyeglasses and get me a flu shot. When we told Nicholas we were running errands, he exclaimed, "Go to the bank, and the post office, and the LIBRARY!!!"
Pumpkins
Sarah spent much of the weekend grading, so I took Nicholas to pick out a pumpkin, which he's been begging to do since we went apple-picking a few weeks back and he saw the pumpkin patch. It didn't take very long to pick one pumpkin (and with the nice weather things had been pretty well picked over). But we enjoyed some quality time, and also an apple cider donut and a free cup of apple cider (yum!).
And yes, I was under strict orders to bring the camera and take photos. So here's some proof we brought back a pumpkin.
Trying to pick one up:
Surveying the pumpkin patch:
And one of only two photos in which he deigned to look at the camera (the other I spare from public consumption as I caught him mid-cough):
In other news Nicholas helped Sarah make a cake (funfetti!), but that's a story that Sarah should tell. It's great to be home, even if just for two days, but man, is it exhausting. And yet I can't wait for Friday afternoon to come.
"Running Errands"
Nicholas now understands the concept, if not the particulars. On Saturday morning, just after my arrival, Nicholas and I went on some errands that had piled up during the week—the bank and the post office specifically, with a trip to the library thrown in to allow him to play for a few. It's actually more fun for him that you think. He was good at the post office, and the postal worker gave him a free coloring book while we were waiting [ed.: a POST OFFICE COLORING BOOK! Can you tell Daddy was more excited than Nicholas?], and he loves the bank because he always gets a lollipop. In fact, the first thing he did in the bank was walk over to the desk where he first got one and said loudly, "Where's the woman?" She's not in on Saturday, but the tellers were happy to oblige a smile and carefully word "Please may I have a lollipop?" And he loves the library, which I think we've discussed a number of times.
Anyway, part of the point of this whole anecdote is that we also ran errands this morning, to look for eyeglasses and get me a flu shot. When we told Nicholas we were running errands, he exclaimed, "Go to the bank, and the post office, and the LIBRARY!!!"
Pumpkins
Sarah spent much of the weekend grading, so I took Nicholas to pick out a pumpkin, which he's been begging to do since we went apple-picking a few weeks back and he saw the pumpkin patch. It didn't take very long to pick one pumpkin (and with the nice weather things had been pretty well picked over). But we enjoyed some quality time, and also an apple cider donut and a free cup of apple cider (yum!).
And yes, I was under strict orders to bring the camera and take photos. So here's some proof we brought back a pumpkin.
Trying to pick one up:
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| From 2011 October |
Surveying the pumpkin patch:
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| From 2011 October |
And one of only two photos in which he deigned to look at the camera (the other I spare from public consumption as I caught him mid-cough):
 |
| From 2011 October |
In other news Nicholas helped Sarah make a cake (funfetti!), but that's a story that Sarah should tell. It's great to be home, even if just for two days, but man, is it exhausting. And yet I can't wait for Friday afternoon to come.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Animal Puzzle
Last night after Nicholas and I made a couple animals together, Nicholas declared that he was going to make a cow for me. Since this required that he do it all by himself and I not help (but pay close attention and praise), I decided to take a few pictures. And since pictures have become few and far between on this here blog, I will share:
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| From 2011 October |
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| From 2011 October |
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| From 2011 October |
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Reason 832
Reason 832 why I should never be a stay-at-home mom: dishes.
No, I don't actually have this list. Although maybe some day I will write one so I have something to look at on bad days at work or each time I look at my paycheck and realize just how much of it goes straight to daycare.
The thing with dishes is that you have to do them every. single. day. Cooking dinner gets to me for the same reason, but this week I don't mind it as much because I found some fun food at the grocery store. And at least you get to eat as a result of cooking. What does doing dishes get you? A counter that is clean for 3.2 seconds. And, seriously, how do 2 people make so many dishes and why can't most of them go in the dishwasher?
This is one of the stupid little things about solo parenting that really gets to me. It is dumb. It takes half an hour a day. But I can power through getting us out the door in the morning complete with lunches packed, a full day at work, making dinner, getting Nicholas ready for bed, doing the couple hours of schoolwork that are inevitably left for the evening, dealing with bills and paperwork and whatever else has accumulated. And then, just as I am relishing the idea of being done for the night, always an hour later than I'd planned, I remember. The stupid dishes. Every. single night. They are my nemesis.
The ironic thing is that in the grand scheme of things they are actually incredibly minor and a tiny speck in the chaos of my life. But I can despise and resent them without guilt. They are not something I need to be grateful for, nor something that I love underneath it all, nor something that I chose. They are free to absorb my stress and frustration.
And what started as a silly post about how I'd be an awful stay-at-home mom has apprently turned into an analytical voyage into my psyche. But one that was as therapeutic as breaking a glass would be. And with much less mess.
No, I don't actually have this list. Although maybe some day I will write one so I have something to look at on bad days at work or each time I look at my paycheck and realize just how much of it goes straight to daycare.
The thing with dishes is that you have to do them every. single. day. Cooking dinner gets to me for the same reason, but this week I don't mind it as much because I found some fun food at the grocery store. And at least you get to eat as a result of cooking. What does doing dishes get you? A counter that is clean for 3.2 seconds. And, seriously, how do 2 people make so many dishes and why can't most of them go in the dishwasher?
This is one of the stupid little things about solo parenting that really gets to me. It is dumb. It takes half an hour a day. But I can power through getting us out the door in the morning complete with lunches packed, a full day at work, making dinner, getting Nicholas ready for bed, doing the couple hours of schoolwork that are inevitably left for the evening, dealing with bills and paperwork and whatever else has accumulated. And then, just as I am relishing the idea of being done for the night, always an hour later than I'd planned, I remember. The stupid dishes. Every. single night. They are my nemesis.
The ironic thing is that in the grand scheme of things they are actually incredibly minor and a tiny speck in the chaos of my life. But I can despise and resent them without guilt. They are not something I need to be grateful for, nor something that I love underneath it all, nor something that I chose. They are free to absorb my stress and frustration.
And what started as a silly post about how I'd be an awful stay-at-home mom has apprently turned into an analytical voyage into my psyche. But one that was as therapeutic as breaking a glass would be. And with much less mess.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Weekend at Home
Nicholas and I were at home this weekend . . . all weekend . . . just the two of us. And we did absolutely nothing noteworthy or picture worthy. And it was great. Not because we had oodles of fun so much as because I was able to get through a massive to-do list and nothing makes me feel better than being productive.
Yesterday after doing the normal morning routine plus talking to Joe on Skype, we went to the bank, the library, the post office, Walmart (yes, evil but actually has crib sheets that fit because they are too cheap to put in good elastic, so I caved), the dollar store, and the grocery store. And that was just before lunch.
We came home, made lunch, ate lunch, each napped for 2 hours, then took care of some more stuff around the house and went on a date to the mall. Nicholas got to play at the indoor playplace (which I absolutely hate but he loves) and at the American Girl store. He really loves playing with the dolls. I don't know if it is the magic of the store or what, but he does much more real play with them there than with his yard sale doll ("Babydoll") at home. Maybe it is all the props they have. There were two dolls at a picnic setup (he declared it to be a birthday party), and he pretended to pour them drinks, fed them, gave them balloons, etc.
And I got dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Well, he ate there too, but it wasn't nearly as much of a treat for him--the kids meals are really the same everywhere. We actually had a delightful little dinner date and when he got bored while waiting for our food to come, he sat in my lap and read me one of his books, which was quite enjoyable.
The really amazing thing about all our running around yesterday is that he was actually helpful some. And most of the rest of the time he at least wasn't being a hindrance. I keep thinking that he and I have to become a team if this crazy situation is going to work, and yesterday we actually were. I am pretty certain it was a fluke and not a new normal, but if this whole thing can teach him to be more responsible and helpful, then that will be a good perk.
Today we talked to my parents and Grandpa O. on Skype, went to church (where he was also delightful), did our Target errands, he helped me put away the laundry I did after he went to bed last night, he did some dishes (or as he calls it, thanks to the lingo used at school, "had water play") while I cleaned off the piles of crap that accumulated on the table, we made a yummy dinner, he had a bath, and we even got his fingernails and toenails cut! And we actually played together for an hour, which brought on the realization that he hasn't touched a single one of his toys in weeks because he has only been home and awake to eat or for the 40 minutes each day when he watches tv while I shower and make dinner.
And, to top it all off, I even managed to grade a bunch of student papers and respond to a half dozen student emails!
It wasn't quite all perfect. This morning after Target he had a pretty huge meltdown (apparently I pushed him a little too far) and getting his toenails cut was, as always, a massive struggle, but we got through it all. And we have a full fridge, leftovers for lunches tomorrow, clean clothes, a coat that actually fits Nicholas, and a Mommy who feels much more able to face the week with so many fewer things hanging over her head.
Yesterday after doing the normal morning routine plus talking to Joe on Skype, we went to the bank, the library, the post office, Walmart (yes, evil but actually has crib sheets that fit because they are too cheap to put in good elastic, so I caved), the dollar store, and the grocery store. And that was just before lunch.
We came home, made lunch, ate lunch, each napped for 2 hours, then took care of some more stuff around the house and went on a date to the mall. Nicholas got to play at the indoor playplace (which I absolutely hate but he loves) and at the American Girl store. He really loves playing with the dolls. I don't know if it is the magic of the store or what, but he does much more real play with them there than with his yard sale doll ("Babydoll") at home. Maybe it is all the props they have. There were two dolls at a picnic setup (he declared it to be a birthday party), and he pretended to pour them drinks, fed them, gave them balloons, etc.
And I got dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Well, he ate there too, but it wasn't nearly as much of a treat for him--the kids meals are really the same everywhere. We actually had a delightful little dinner date and when he got bored while waiting for our food to come, he sat in my lap and read me one of his books, which was quite enjoyable.
The really amazing thing about all our running around yesterday is that he was actually helpful some. And most of the rest of the time he at least wasn't being a hindrance. I keep thinking that he and I have to become a team if this crazy situation is going to work, and yesterday we actually were. I am pretty certain it was a fluke and not a new normal, but if this whole thing can teach him to be more responsible and helpful, then that will be a good perk.
Today we talked to my parents and Grandpa O. on Skype, went to church (where he was also delightful), did our Target errands, he helped me put away the laundry I did after he went to bed last night, he did some dishes (or as he calls it, thanks to the lingo used at school, "had water play") while I cleaned off the piles of crap that accumulated on the table, we made a yummy dinner, he had a bath, and we even got his fingernails and toenails cut! And we actually played together for an hour, which brought on the realization that he hasn't touched a single one of his toys in weeks because he has only been home and awake to eat or for the 40 minutes each day when he watches tv while I shower and make dinner.
And, to top it all off, I even managed to grade a bunch of student papers and respond to a half dozen student emails!
It wasn't quite all perfect. This morning after Target he had a pretty huge meltdown (apparently I pushed him a little too far) and getting his toenails cut was, as always, a massive struggle, but we got through it all. And we have a full fridge, leftovers for lunches tomorrow, clean clothes, a coat that actually fits Nicholas, and a Mommy who feels much more able to face the week with so many fewer things hanging over her head.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Fortune Cookie Wisdom
I went out for Chinese food at lunch today, and the fortune seemed particularly apt for the intersection of our work and parenting lives, so I'm sharing it with you all:
Ideas are like children: there are none so wonderful as your own.
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