Learning to Give

We decided that this year Nicholas needed to be involved in the process of giving gifts. I was realizing that in Nicholas' experience presents are things given to him. Not only has he not given gifts to others (at least not actively, even though gifts have sometimes been given in his name), but thanks to being the only kid around at family events, he gets more gifts than anyone else (okay, often than everyone else combined).

So we decided that this year gifts from Nicholas would really and truly be from Nicholas. But if we really wanted to let him take ownership of them and pick whatever he wanted, I wanted to limit the financial damage. So we took him to the dollar store and let him loose.

And he did a great job. He picked things for each of his aunts and uncles and then wanted to keep going. So he picked things for his teachers and for Mommy and Daddy. And then he wanted to pick more things for his aunts and uncles. He was on a roll. But we stopped him at that point. I'm all about the lesson of giving, but we were going to have to pay to ship all of these things across the country (or planet in the case of my brothers).

Nicholas then helped us wrap all the presents when we got home and he was very particular about who got what. I'll wait to share what some of the gems were that he chose until after Christmas so his aunts and uncles can be surprised, but it was pretty awesome.

So, fair warning to the aunts and uncles reading this blog, be prepared for the randomness when you open your presents. But Nicholas picked that item specifically for you.

We also took him to a place where you can paint plaster figurines and let him paint some magnets and ornaments. He actually really loved this (so much so that we went twice!) but mostly he just wanted to get as many different colors of paint as possible and put a little of each color on each piece. But he was so proud of himself for the things he painted and so excited to mail them off to relatives.

What I'm most impressed by is that throughout this process Nicholas was all about the idea that these presents were all for other people. At the dollar store he never once asked for something for himself. Not even the balloon he always gets when we go there. He was so focused on gifts for other people that it didn't even occur to him to try to get something for himself. And some of the gifts he chose were things he'd love and I expected him to try to open them when we got home, but he was insistent that they get mailed. I even offered to let him keep one of the ornaments he had painted because he was so proud of it and wanted to hang it up on our tree. But as I started to seal the envelope without it he yelled at me to stop because he had to send the ornament to x!

If any aunts and uncles or grandparents want to volunteer to wait to open their presents from him until Christmas afternoon or evening, we can do it over Skype. Then he can see the last stage of the process, to make more concrete what it meant when we mailed them to you. Let us know and we can set times.