Mental Health Day

I had a really rough week (all work stuff--Peanut is fine), and so yesterday when I found myself already in tears by 9:30 I decided that I was declaring it a mental health day and taking the day off. Otherwise I was worried I wouldn't make it through next week's insanity (which starts on Sunday, as an added bonus). And so I ran some errands that were essential, and then spent the rest of the day immersed in Peanut-related fun.

I had errands to run in a shopping center with a Marshalls and so stopped by to check out their baby clothes. And next thing I knew it was two hours later and I was sitting on the floor in an aisle trying to weed down the $200 worth of clothes I had picked out down to a reasonable amount. I've never been able to understand how people find shopping therapeutic. In fact, I usually hate shopping. Apparently I've just never shopped for the right thing.

I then had the urge to find some sort of crafty project to do for Peanut, so went to the fabric store in search of fabric to make curtains for the nursery. And, much to my surprise, our stupid little fabric store that never has any selection had so many great fabrics that I couldn't choose. The nursery will be animal themed with green as a main color and I found at least 4 good green prints with animals of some sort or another and was paralyzed by indecision. But I still had the crafty bug so I called Joe and asked "what can I make using lots of different fabrics that we can use for the baby?" He, the smart man that he is, sent me to my mother instead. So I called Mom with a slightly more refined question: "can I make a quilt without doing any quilting?" (I have learned some sewing over the years from Mom, but never anything fancy like quilting or embroidery.) My mom is making an animal quilt for the nursery wall using piecing to create each animal. I can't explain (but will post pictures later), but basically it is amazing and lots of work so I plan to keep it away from spitup and juice. So I concocted a plan to make an everyday "quilt" that can get thrown on the floor for the baby to play on, go with us places, and then get tossed in the wash.

And so, after a couple hours in the fabric store picking out just the right combination of fabrics, and then a couple hours of work last night, this is what I have so far:

This morning I plan to put together the 3 other blocks of 4 squares (to make it square). Then I may have to stop for a bit and go back to actual work. The striped fabric on the side is what I plan to use for the border (although I have to ask my mom for suggestions on the actual construction of that part), and then I have a big piece of Noah's Ark fleece that will be the back layer, instead of adding batting inside to make it softer.

There is something so satisfying about actually having something to show for your work at the end of the day. I really needed a day like that.

Learning New Skills

Peanut was kicking up a storm during President Obama's speech, and even kicked several times in response to my saying to it, "Obama!" I loved it, of course.

My child, already prepared to campaign for re-election as an adorable 3-year-old.

new pics up

I'm still standing my ground on belly pictures, so you will not see any posed pictures highlighting my Peanut belly. It just wigs me out. And for once I don't have a long rant or analysis on why--just no. However, I have decided that it is okay to post some of the pictures we took in Savannah last weekend for those of you who have expressed sadness that you can't see me as the pregnancy progresses. So they have been added to "The Peanut Gallery." Just normal shots and you can see my belly simply because really there is no hiding it these days.

Happy?

Peanut the Breakdancer

Peanut is no longer satisfied with simple kicks, but is getting so big that we can feel (and see!) a whole host of different motions, many of which we cannot identify and so I have started referring to as Peanut breakdancing. This has actually been going on for a few weeks now, but I have been too busy to write about it. And since yesterday was a particularly active day in Peanut-world, it is on the forefront of my mind now (meaning 4:30am while I’m sitting up writing because I can’t sleep).

Anyway, for those of you who are really curious, Peanut’s kicks used to feel (from both the inside and the outside) sort of like a flick of your finger. That was when it had extra space in its little bubble and so only a jerky motion of a leg or arm could reach the outside with any force. Now that Peanut has started packing on the pounds (probably 2-2 ½ pounds these days) and expanding to fill the available space, all sorts of other motions can be sensed from the outside. This leads to a bunch of really funny feelings. One motion that might be Peanut trying to do a somersault basically feels like if you make a loose fist and roll it against your other palm, with a bunch of random pressure points of varying degrees of boniness. Another one is probably Peanut pushing a foot against me or something, but it is an odd pressure that tickles. Ever been tickled from the inside? Talk about an odd sensation.

The really fun thing about these new movements is that not only can we feel them, but sometimes we can see them as well. This is what I refer to as Peanut “putting on a show” and it never fails to make me laugh. I’ll be working when out of the bottom of my eye I’ll see motion, at which point I’ll be captivated for a few minutes staring at my belly trying to visualize just what the kid is doing that makes the corresponding external movements. It’s a little creepy (sort of Alien-esqe), but mostly just hilarious.

Going to the Doctor

I feel like we should update since we went to the doctor yesterday, but really the most interesting thing about these doctor’s visits is how little actually happens at them. I don’t know what I expected, but certainly not the 5-minute listen to the heartbeat, measure my belly a couple different ways, ask how I’m feeling, and then “see you in a month.” Although yesterday we did have the addition of the glucose test where I had to drink basically over-sugared kool-aid, wait an hour, and have blood drawn. But that is only the second “test” we’ve had done, not counting the two sonograms. And apparently there is only one more test and no more sonograms left on the schedule. That is, of course, unless they see some reason to worry. We’re now onto an every two week schedule just because that is the routine for the third trimester, but if all goes well they will continue to be 5-minute heartbeat and measurement sessions. So here is hoping for a continuation of boring doctor’s visits with nothing worth reporting.

Filling out the roster

Peanut now has two godparents ready to help! Thanks Stacy and Matt.

Peanut also has a souvenir t-shirt from the Library Company of Philadelphia for when it gets a little bit older (the smallest they have is a child's 6-8). Daddy is a little irrationally exuberant about that one

Fun link

A friend sent me a link to this and it was so accurate that I had to share. In fact, when I got it I was sitting in pjs in the middle of the afternoon eating ice cream (while working, I promise). The original page is here: http://graphjam.com/2009/01/29/song-chart-memes-pregnancy/

Cravings

I’ve been asked a lot if I have any interesting cravings, and people always seem so disappointed when I don’t have fun stories of sending Joe out at midnight for pickles. I have to admit that I’m a little disappointed too. I mean, of all the things that go along with pregnancy, cravings were the one that actually sounded sort of fun. But no such luck. There is no denying that I eat more dessert now than usual, but it isn’t that I want chocolate cake any more than ever, just that I actually let myself eat it.

So when the past couple weeks I’ve noticed myself putting together some pretty odd meals (a whole can of canned peaches along with a cup of strawberry yogurt for dinner one night, for example), I thought maybe cravings were finally kicking in. But there was something eerily familiar about these meals. And then the flashbacks started. I remembered eating a can of canned green beans (possibly straight from the can) for dinner one night, weeks on end of rice with soy sauce, and many a night with a bowl of Cheerios. Oh, that’s right—college. Apparently that is just what my diet becomes when I’m left to my own devices and no one else to consider for too many meals in a row.

And so I sit here writing while eating my dinner of frozen fried fish fillets and rosemary-garlic potatoes, knowing that when Joe is back home I’ll start eating like a normal person again. Oh well.

What’s in a Name?

We’ve been trying to finalize our decision on Peanut’s name and so for the past few weeks I’ve been using the frontrunner off an on, just to try it out. And it hasn’t been working for me. It just doesn’t seem right. So I started trying out the other names we’ve considered, and none of them worked either. Then I figured it out. No name works for Peanut’s name because Peanut already has a name. Peanut.

Who knew I'd be a calming influence?

So Peanut has been kicking hard enough to feel it for about six weeks or so. And at first, it was a lot of fun to feel the kicks (though Sarah sometimes doesn't feel so great depending on which way the baby is kicking).

But recently, every time Sarah notices the baby kicking, and calls me over, as soon as I put my hand on her stomach, it stops. Nothing.

So either it feels abandoned and cold towards its father, or it finds me soothing and calming, as opposed to Sarah. Oddly enough, we disagree about which theory is more valid.

Unexpected Joy

We expected this child to bring us great joy (oh, and great frustration, too—we’re not too sentimental to know that), but I’m beginning to realize that we didn’t know the half of it. We both love kids, love working with them and playing with them, and just in general having them around. But our experiences with kids have always been with other people’s kids, and usually not children we have any real “claim” on (with the possible exception of our godson, but he is very far away)—the Steinke kids who we love dearly but who we are just random friends to and then the kids I’ve worked with in various venues. And so we expected joy to come from interactions with our child, as it has with these other children. What I was completely unprepared for and am just starting to learn is that this child will bring us great joy even in moments we aren’t involved in at all. Here’s what I mean:

Simply existing: With all the kicking and moving and exploring this child is already doing, it has made clear to me that it is already an independent person. Yes, it depends on me physically for everything, but it is an individual person already, with its own thoughts, even though they might not be conscious yet, and doing its own thing. And it is amazing. I spend lots of time wondering about its personality and can’t wait to see all of the uniqueness that is this amazing little person unfold over the months and years ahead. Maybe it is because all the superficial stuff people are usually curious about with babies is such a known with our children (hair color, eye color, complexion) that I’m left free to wonder about these things, but wow are they more interesting. It is fun to make guesses about what it will be like and know that we have years to discover these traits. And so I am realizing how much joy this child will bring to our lives just in growing and exploring and developing and in letting us be a part of it.

Bringing joy to others: Okay, I admit it, I’m a pleaser. I like to make other people happy. In fact, knowing I’ve made someone unhappy or disappointed someone has always been a worse punishment for me than any grounding could ever be. Anyway, I’m quickly realizing that this child has the ability to make people happier than I ever can on my own. And this, by extension, makes me so happy. When I see Joe’s face light up when he feels the baby kicking it is the best feeling ever. And other people are happier at the sheer news of the baby’s existence than I’ve ever seen them. I can’t wait to see the joy this child brings to people once it is here and visible and able to interact with them. And I am so happy to just be able to sit back and watch and revel in the smiles.

And so, Peanut, there you go—the earliest proof that you don’t have to ever do anything other than just be yourself for us to love you.

In answer to your questions . . .

In response to the questions and comments that I have gotten in my email, I’ll do my best to provide some information about how big the baby is. The problem is, we have no idea because it has been 6 ½ weeks since they last did any measurements. But, according to the books, it should be about 15 inches long and between 1 ½ and 2 pounds. (And since it was on track 6 weeks ago, we’ll assume it still is.) This means it has tripled its weight in the past 6 weeks and is now gaining about ¼ pound a week, starting to put on some of that adorable baby fat. Luckily I have not tripled my weight, although I am beginning to feel as though I may have tripled my waist measurement. Seriously, I can’t get between the chairs in the office anymore—gah!

The other question/comment we’ve gotten a lot is “wow, it looks like a baby,” in reference to the second sonogram picture. To which it is really tempting to offer some smart-ass response like “What did you expect, a puppy?” But that wouldn’t be fair since I was as shocked as anyone. It is amazing to me how early and quickly they develop into a recognizable human shape. At that sonogram (6 ½ weeks ago) the baby was moving its hands around and it looked like it was waving, it opened and closed its mouth (which the tech then put on a loop so it looked like it was talking), and they were able to check on each internal organ (including being able to see all 4 chambers of the heart beating away). The transition from the “peanut” picture to the baby picture was all of 10 weeks. Amazing!

Child Prodigy? Or Not.

We hadn’t planned on starting this blog until the baby arrived, but we are being constantly amazed by it already, and so it seems wrong to wait to start documenting and sharing these things until it is born. So what is it this child is doing that is so amazing, you ask? I swear today I was convinced that it was dancing. I was writing and started to go a little stir crazy with the silence in the apartment and so decided to turn on music. And as soon as I turned on the music the baby started moving around a lot and kicking. Now, it is very possible that it wasn’t so much a dancing as an “Ah, Mom, I was sleeeeeeping. Stop the noise.” but I’m choosing to believe instead that our little Peanut was dancing to the music. Either way, it constantly amazes me how tuned in it is to what is going on out here and how it can react to it.

So what else can the child prodigy do? Well, not much that we know of yet. It is pretty adept at communicating in no uncertain terms when it is hungry, though, which is something I didn’t know it could do before being able to cry. And a doctor can probably set me straight that it is actually a reaction to a drop in blood sugar or something rather than hunger per se, but all I know is that sometimes when I’m not hungry at all I will feel pain that tells me that I must eat immediately. But it feels different from the normal hungry feeling, in a way I can’t articulate. And whereas when I feel hungry I can talk myself out of it, there is no talking myself (or the baby) out of this hungry, or even postponing. I must stop whatever I am doing and eat immediately or I will have no peace. But a few handfuls of peanuts (the actual kind—notice the lowercase) and a few minutes later I’m fine. Really, who knew children could be so demanding and stubborn in utero?

Okay, so all the parents out there are laughing at how naïve we are. I have to admit, I’m embarrassed to admit my shock because I feel like this is stuff I was supposed to know. But, really, all those childhood development classes and workshops I’ve sat through over the years covered development from birth at the very earliest, and most focused on the toddler or elementary-school years. So expect many more “duh” moments on this blog. We’re in for an adventure. Check in and enjoy. Or laugh at us. That is completely acceptable too. Goodness knows we laugh at ourselves, and I’m sure the baby will too as soon as it can (and, for all we know, it may be laughing right now). Smart kid.

Welcome!

Welcome to our blog! Because our friends and family are so spread out, we decided to create a place (virtual though it may be) where everyone can share in the excitement and joy of our impending arrival.

And we seem to have let slip one of our secrets.

Yes, that's right.

We call the baby "Peanut."